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Start each day happy?

Posted on March 30, 20191 Comment

It is a Saturday, and a rare one when there are no appointments on the calendar. This allowed us to leave the alarms unset for the morning. Yet, I woke before the dawn. My heart is heavy, causing sleep to elude me. I am hurting for someone close to me, not sure how to help. It is difficult to wake up with an unsettled mind. How do you cope on such days?

Life’s hardships do not stop the clock. There is still an entire day to get through. I proceed with the necessary tasks: change over the laundry from the night before, feed the children, get dressed. Finally, I am ready to feed myself. Reaching for a plate, I pull out the closest at hand. It is a Holly Hobbie plate stamped with the words, “Start each day in a happy way.”

At first the words seem to mock. How can you start each day in a happy way, especially days that begin with lack of sleep and an abundance of concerns?

A possible answer can be found in the Psalms.

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
²    Worship the Lord with gladness;
    come before him with joyful songs.
³Know that the Lord is God.
    It is he who made us, and we are his^[a;
    we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.
⁴Enter his gates with thanksgiving
    and his courts with praise;
    give thanks to him and praise his name.
⁵For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
    his faithfulness continues through all generations.
Psalm 100

I realize now that it is possible to start the day, each day, with a level of happiness. It is possible when, even just momentarily, we lift our eyes to the heavens to the one who knows and cares. Isaiah 51:12 states: “I, even I, am he who comforts you.” For that alone, he is worthy of praise.

So, now my perspective has shifted and I am able to conceive of one way to start each day with happy praise. For God is good, always.

A New Thing

Posted on February 2, 2019Leave a comment

In The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society book, the main character, Juliet, rides a bus through the streets of London in the aftermath of World War II. Recognizing evidence of efforts to restore order and normalcy, she makes this observation:

The sun is out for the first time in months, and if I stand on my chair and crane my neck, I can see it sparkling on the river. I’m averting my eyes from the mounds of rubble across the street and pretending London is beautiful again.

The imagery of this passage is reminiscent to me of another passage, this one from scripture.

Isaiah 43:19 states:

See, I am doing a new thing!
    Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
    and streams in the wasteland.

Oftentimes, our lives can crumble around us resembling a pile of rubble. In the midst of such times, what comfort to recall the words of the prophet who reminds us that we have one who goes before us. He can forge a path for us. He can supply refreshment when it is needed most.

Imagine standing up on a chair to perceive a better view. Reach up further, maybe on tiptoe, craning your neck, peering out the window. Straining your eyes, search the horizon. Look! Beyond the remains of hurts and disappointments. Beyond the evidence of turmoils and brokenness in our path. Catch that glimmer of hope that is just there. It winks and gleams, much like the sparkle of light on water. There it is.

Look.

Can you see it?

He is doing a new thing!

Resources for Family Bible Reading

Posted on January 14, 20194 Comments

It is January, the beginning of a new year, and a typical time for consideration of good intentions. For many, January is also a time to begin new devotional or Bible reading plans.

Although there are many wonderful plans available for reading through the Bible in a year, or even just a portion of it, I would like to challenge parents to resolve to read the Bible together as a family for one year. This is a habit easily implemented, and one that parents and children can grow together in through the years.

As beneficial as it is for a mom or dad to individually, or as a couple, develop a daily or weekly Bible reading habit, many overlook the importance of purposefully setting aside time to read through the Bible together as a family.

Reading scripture together in the evenings has been part of our children’s daily bedtime ritual since our oldest son (now 22) was an infant. Even when traveling or driving home late from an event, we still get in a Bible reading by listening to a passage through an app.

In an effort to encourage your family to consider and implement what our family has enjoyed and benefited from for most of our children’s lives, here are a few resources for your consideration. Click on the title to link for purchase or further information. These titles are also available on Amazon, or at your favorite Christian retail book seller.

For families with very young children (under age 5):

The Beginners Bible by Karyn Henley. This storybook Bible has engaging illustrations and simplistic language to effectively tell the stories of who God is and the things he has done. Reading through this book from beginning to end will take your family through the majority of the stories from Genesis to Revelation, giving you and your children a basic overview of the real-life characters and events in scripture. I highly recommend this resource to be read over and over again, and it is a book that young children greatly enjoy.

For families with elementary age children:

The Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd Jones. This Bible does an excellent job of bringing out the one overarching story that threads through each individual story in scripture, the one that every other story points toward; the story of Jesus. The first time that I read these stories aloud to my boys, it was not uncommon for me to become choked up. The writing is poignant and this author has done an excellent job in each story of pointing forward to God’s ultimate goal, to save mankind. This is another storybook which covers events from Genesis to Revelation and is another highly recommended resource to be read multiple times.

For families with independent readers:

The Picture Bible by Iva Hoth. My parents first gifted this Bible to my brother and me when I was still in elementary school. It was a hardback version that we wore the cover off by reading it so frequently. The thoroughness of the text is such that our Sunday school class teachers were often amazed at how much detail we knew about the stories in scripture. Although this is an excellent book to hand a student to read on her own, it can still be used during family read aloud time as long as everyone gets a turn to look at the pictures.

Day By Day Kids Bible by Karyn Henley. These chronological daily Bible readings are geared toward younger readers (ages 6-10). The readings are dated to be read in one calendar year. This is a good transition book to use after Bible storybooks.

For families with children of all ages:

The One Year Bible for Kids. This one-year Bible has readings divided into 365 passages which are dated to correspond with the calendar. There is an application note as well as a question listed after each reading which can be used to spark discussion. Although a good choice for independent reading, this is also a great way to read aloud while following a Bible reading plan as a family. (The Challenge edition is what is currently available; I have a 1997 edition which does not include the challenges. The older version may still be available used.)

These resources have all been used and loved by my husband, me, and our four sons over the last 20+ years. If you have other recommendations to share, please comment with your favorite family Bible reading resources in the comments!

Living Water

Posted on December 31, 20184 Comments

Have you ever been through a traumatic experience? Trauma arrives as unexpectedly as a violent storm. It can wreak havoc on your life, creating disorientation, uncertainty, and doubt. Appearing without warning, and consequently, without preparation for how to navigate, it is not uncommon to overlook or ignore basic, even obvious, needs.

Several years ago, I experienced such an event. The subsequent effects were such that I sought counseling to help me process through the ordeal. After several sessions, the therapist told me that I was suffering from spiritual abuse. I had been betrayed by trusted partners in ministry. Although geographically removed from the situation today, I continue to work to heal from the after effects of that experience.

In my continual effort toward recovering full health, both physical and spiritual, I recently chose to attend a six week grief recovery class. I was astounded to learn in one session that it is not uncommon for the mechanism in our bodies that signals an urge to drink to become “broken” during periods of profound grief. Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my head! Over the past few years I have been periodically affected for brief periods of time with physical ailments tracing back to mild dehydration.

For those who know me intimately, dehydration is not something which I should be susceptible to. Water has always been my beverage of choice. I drink it will all meals and order it at restaurants. Proselytizing the merits of this clear elixir to others successfully converted my Dr. Pepper drinking husband. (Until his return to the Lone Star state where he now imbibes the occasional DP on celebratory occasions, etc.).

However, in the past few years, I have allowed myself, more than once, to ignore specific demands and clues from my body to care for myself in a simple habit that I have practiced for a lifetime.

Even just mild dehydration can create pain and discomfort, placing a sudden brake on the forward momentum of life. Experiencing an inadequate supply of life-sustaining water, the body begins signaling the need for hydration, crying out in desperation for attention. If left untreated for long enough, this deprivation can lead to devastating consequences.

Since grief can mask, or numb, our natural inclination to provide a necessary resource for maintenance, purposeful intention becomes necessary. In this state, we must supply consistent doses of water to bypass the inevitable warning light. Deliberate steps must be taken to avoid a deficit, running dry, and creating additional health issues.

Just as we can overlook and fall out of a personal habit (even one we have practiced for a lifetime), it is possible to fall out of spiritual habits as well. And, much like physical dehydration can become hazardous to our physical health, spiritual dehydration can be detrimental to our spiritual health. If left untended, it may lead to further spiritual malaise.

The remedy for physical dehydration is a simple one: drink more water! In much the same way, there is a simple remedy to avoiding or combatting spiritual dehydration as well: drink more water…the living water!

John 4 introduces us to the phrase, “living water”. In this passage, Jesus is speaking with a woman at a well. Jesus, a Jew, asks the woman, a Samaritan, for a drink of water, surprising her because of a well known aversion that Jews had for Samaritans. Jesus informs this woman that he is capable of giving her living water that, once received, would eliminate her thirst for all time. He states in verses 13-14:

…Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life.

I am learning through life’s hardships how essential the living water is to thrive. During periods of hardship, it is necessary to hydrate ourselves. Especially against our inclination to overlook or ignore the need to do so. Consistent exposure to and interaction with that life-giving spring will help to ease us through the storms.

In the coming year, I pray that you and I both will continually tap into that eternal spring. Sip from the scriptures. Moisten your lips in prayer. The water supplied will quench your spiritual thirst and support your spiritual health even during the traumas of life.

Literature and Formation

The purpose of this blog is to help myself and others grow in their pursuit of things that are lovely, good, and beautiful. I decided some time ago that this would be helpful to me as I attempt to follow Proverbs 4:23 in guarding my heart. If I want what flows from my heart to be life-giving, I must think on the things of Philippians 4:8 (Whatever is noble, right, pure, lovely…).

Although I have written previously about the importance of filling our pitchers at God’s cistern, I am also in agreement with the writer Karen Swallow Prior who states that Spiritual formation comes from outward influences as well. Prior writes in Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me that:

I know that spiritual formation is of God, but I also know – mainly because I learned it from books – that there are other kinds of formation, too, everyday gifts, and that God uses the things of this earth to teach us and shape us, and to help us find truth.

She confesses that for a large part of her life she “loved books more than God, never discovering for a long, long time that a God who spoke the world into existence with words is, in fact, the source of meaning of all words.” I am afraid that I too must confess to at least having loved reading books more frequently than reading God’s Word for much of my life.

However, it is also true that many of the books that I have read have reinforced, accentuated, and underlined the truths found in scripture. And, for me, this is one of the reasons that reading will not only continue to be a lifelong pursuit, but a worthy endeavor that I am training my children to pursue as well. Yes, we are purposefully pursuing the reading of scripture, and using his word to help fill and guard our hearts. But, the discovery of truth is a “process that occurs over time, more fully with each idea or book that gets added to the equation” (Prior, 14.)

This reinforcement of ideas was brought home to me most recently as my two youngest sons (ages 10 and 13) were listening to the audible book Heidi by Johanna Spyri. At one particular part of the story, young Heidi was struggling with homesickness and her friend’s grandmother (in whose home she was currently staying) noticed that she was sad. When the grandmother asked Heidi what was wrong, Heidi did not feel it would be polite to share her sadness for fear of offending the generosity of her hosts. So the grandmama comforted Heidi with these wonderful words:

When one has a sorrow that can not be told to anybody else on earth, it must be confided to God. And He must be asked for help and comfort. He can make our sorrows lighter and teach us to bear them.

Several weeks later, one of my boys went to bed sad. I found him later, crying softly into his pillow. When I asked him if he could share what was wrong, he shook his head vehemently and said, “I am like Heidi. It would hurt someone else’s feelings too much to talk about.” Although this wrenched my heart in two, I was comforted to know that he had taken the words from the book to heart as I asked him, “and are you like Heidi as well in that you are able to confide in God about this and ask him to comfort you?” My son nodded affirmatively and I was able to leave him in peace to wrestle with God about his struggle.

It was not many weeks longer before the subject matter that my son considered to be unspeakable for fear of offense came to light. It is true, it was something that was hurtful to hear. But, in taking the time to talk with God about the issue, he finally gained the courage to speak about it. Repentance, confession, and forgiveness of and by all injured parties took place and everyone is sleeping more restfully as a result. However, it took more than just a knowledge of scriptures like 1 Peter 5:7 (“casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you”) to fully influence my son to approach God in prayer. It also took a reinforcement of that truth, a reminder.

Because reading is such a source of joy for me, personally, I have decided to periodically share books or quotes that have been life-giving and come alongside scripture in helping to fill my heart with things that are true, good, pure, lovely, etc. I hope that they will become a blessing to you as well.

Permission to make mistakes

Posted on June 21, 2018Leave a comment

Years ago, while still a young bride, I often made my own dresses, curtains, etc. to help save money in college. Back then, it was actually more affordable to buy a pattern, cloth, thread, etc. and to put in the work required than it is today.

During this time, a friend complimented me on a finished product, expressing a lament that she did not share that particular skill. When I encouraged her to learn some basic sewing techniques, she dismissed the idea as beyond her reach. She stated that she had tried once before, and failed. Therefore, she concluded, it was something she was incapable of learning.

My reaction was to immediately attempt to disabuse her of the notion that one failure was a definitive sign that success was forever beyond her reach. I then recounted to her the many, many, many mistakes I have made over several years, and still do. One of the most frustrating realities about sewing is the patience required to take out stitches, redo seams, or start over altogether.

I then shared what my mother taught me when I was just a beginning seamstress. My mom encouraged me to shop the bargain bin in the fabric store. Her advise was to choose an inexpensive material that I liked. That way, if I was successful in my endeavor I would be pleased to showcase the result. However, if I botched things beyond repair the sting of loss would not be greater than my desire to try again. As I gained confidence and skill I moved beyond the sale rack into finer fabrics with confidence in my abilities to make something presentable.

My friend shocked me when she exclaimed, “Brilliant! Your mother gave you permission to make mistakes.” I had never actually seen this perspective before, but it is correct. When trying to learn something new we must give ourselves permission to make mistakes.

If what we are attempting to learn does not come naturally to us there needs to be a mindset that mistakes are not only inevitable but allowed. It is, after all, through our mistakes that we often learn the most. For instance, it only took one time for me to erroneously sew a pair of pants side to side rather than front to back to remember forever more how to do it correctly. Each unripped seam, tossed project, or do-over, is a lesson marking progress toward becoming competent in something that was once unfamiliar or unknown.

Beginning

I have a problem. My problem is that I have high standards. So high that I become stagnant. I compare my not-even-started project with someone else’s highly successful completed work, and I give up before I begin. But today I read something that makes me realize the fruitlessness of this attitude. I clicked on a link within a blog post which spoke to what I needed to hear at this moment, and has inserted some inertia into my veins. The link was this quote by Ira Glass about beginners. It is time to stop comparing, to quit being immobilized by fear, and to start. So, today I pick up my (virtual) quill and begin anew.

Whatever you do, do it well

Posted on December 14, 20171 Comment

Yesterday was my birthday. The older I am, the more reflective I become at milestones such as anniversaries and birthdays. The closer I get to 50 (still in the future but looming ever nearer), the more I seem to wrestle with life choices: what do I really want to do with my life, how do I want to be remembered, what can I do that will make a difference, and what changes ought I to be making to better utilize my gifts and the time I have on this earth? These are all questions that come to the forefront of my mind during these times of contemplation.

Looking back, I remember accomplishments of which I am proud, such as returning to school after a 13 year hiatus to complete a Masters Degree with 4 children ages 12 to 1 underfoot. But, strangely, as proud as I was to have completed that degree, and to walk across that stage to accept my diploma, there was something else that happened on that day that made me even prouder.

Shortly before the graduation ceremony there was a reception for the graduates and their families with the faculty and staff of the school. I was pleased to have the opportunity for my husband and four sons (then ages 16 to 4) to attend this function with me. Several of the professors took the time to congratulate all of my boys, husband included, for their help in my accomplishment, recognizing the sacrifice that our entire family had made. It was an enjoyable time with my teachers, classmates, family, as well as additional faculty and staff, including the school President.

A short time later, we all assembled in the auditorium for the graduation ceremony. My name was called and I proceeded across the stage. Imagine my surprise when I shook the President’s hand and he leaned in to say, “You have very well behaved boys.”

Oh, how my heart swelled. On a day when I was being publicly recognized for an accomplishment the world values, I was privately commended for something which I valued even more.

Last night, reflecting on life on my birthday eve, my husband shared a verse with me that puts life contemplations into perspective. Ecclesiastes 9:7ff. encourages, “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.” Looking back on my life choices I realize the blessings of a life lived in relationship with God. Looking forward, this verse also gives me a plumb line to live life fully. As I read further in Ecclesiastes 9, I realize that I can relieve a lot of the pressure I have felt in making my life choices so complicated and monumentally heavy by following the words of the writer.

It is not so much about what we choose to pursue as it is about doing well with whatever we choose.

Perspective

Posted on December 3, 2017Leave a comment

On a week when I was feeling a little miffed about some changes in monetary obligations in the approaching new year, with upcoming increases in a house payment and insurance premium, an air conditioner going out in a vehicle (in a state that still gets hot enough to require it, even in December), and a clogged clothes dryer vent that creates a potential fire hazard, I was not necessarily in the best mindset as I headed to the laundromat with 5 baskets full of my family’s clothes.

Avoiding using our dyer as we attempted to clear the clogged vent had created a mountain of work. Several attempts to unclog the vent from both access points in and out of the house proved unfruitful. So, as we investigated how to reach the inner working in the labyrinth of tubes deep within our home, the laundry piled up. (Note to builders: all dryers belong on an exterior wall with minimal footage for the lint and air to vent outside, in as straight a path as possible.) Friday night, after attending a holiday festivity in the park, we drove past the local laundromat on the way home to assess how busy it was. The place was empty. I went home, sorted and gathered up everyone’s garments from the week, then hubby delivered me back to the self-service laundry.

As we entered, there were two guys up front, and a couple spooning on the bench in a back corner. As soon as I walked past, the couple hurriedly rose, collected their items and departed. The younger of the two men up front finished his laundry and left about the time I completed filling all my washers, converted my bills to quarters, and started the machines. The remaining man left momentarily, but quickly returned and walked past me with his backpack on his shoulder, disappearing around the corner in the back of the store. I settled onto a bench, pulled out a book and began to read.

When my first wash cycle ended and I rose to retrieve and move my items to a dryer, it took me past the back corner where I noticed the older man had laid down on the bench, using it as a bed, with his pack as a pillow.

While a few other people came and went in the next hour and a half, the man dozed in the back of the laundromat, seemingly oblivious to the bright lights, the beeping of the machines as they ended their cycles, and the whir and click of all the motors in force.

When I finally gathered up my several containers of freshly laundered clothing to place in my van to take home and put away in individual drawers and closets in separate rooms for my family, I couldn’t help but think of a man with one backpack sleeping on a bench at the back of a laundromat. It gave me a completely different perspective on my earlier frustrations and complaints of the day. Sometimes I see blessings as burdens and need a reminder of all I have to be grateful for. Sometimes it takes a change in perspective.

“I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:12-13

Patience

Posted on September 27, 20171 Comment

Making soup in the morning to cook all day in the crockpot, my youngest son sidles up to me to cook alongside. Taking a deep breath, I remind myself that it is good for him to show enthusiasm to learn this new skill, and resign myself to the longer time it will take to complete my task.

Patiently, I teach him how to safely peel and chop the carrots, celery, and onion. Resisting the urge to take over and complete the job for him, I show him how to use the back of the knife instead of the blade to scrape the veggies off the cutting board into the pot. We take the time to smell each herb and spice before adding it, and discuss each step as we proceed. Finally, we set the lid on the pot and the lesson is complete. Glancing at the clock, I notice an hour has passed. One hour to peel and chop 2 carrots, 2 celery stalks, and 1 onion…a job I would have finished in 15 minutes.

Sometimes when I have the opportunity to slow down to a snail’s pace in order to come alongside a child who is learning, I am reminded. Reminded of my own Heavenly Father’s patience as he comes alongside me as I learn. I make mistakes, and he gives me additional chances to try again, day after day. His mercies are new every morning (Lamentations 3:22).